Hi you all! How are you doing? How was your week?
I had a bunch of bad days this week. Last week was good, and this one was not. Last Sunday things felt so good, I felt inspired and pretty energetic. This week I have been tired, anxious and had head aches. I know that the whole thing with recovering from burn out is that it goes up and down, you have some good days and than some bad ones. In the beginning they are mostly bad but with time the good days get more and better and you get hopeful, but the bad ones are still there and in periods they can overtake the good ones and theoretically I know that this is how it is. But my body and mind is not really accepting it. Deep within it I feel the good days, but I have really hard accepting that the bad ones are still there lurking around, and coming whenever they feel like without giving any notice. It is hard to have the patience that is needed for recovering, letting it take the time that is needed.
We have a second wave of the coronavirus hitting us here in Sweden and news on Sunday evening was very alarming, and I watched them, even if I know it is still activating me and has given me anxiety and trouble sleeping earlier. Well, I felt so good on Sunday that I did not care about that truth about myself, I ignored it. On Monday I woke up with a pretty bad head ache. I thought I had slept but at the same time I remember being up several times during the night so maybe the sleep was not enough. Monday was a terrible day with head ache and in the evening anxiety that came out of nowhere. At least I think it comes out of nowhere, its always like that when the pulse starts increasing and the breath gets quicker and less air comes in to the lungs. I am doing a lot right now to learn how to handle my anxiety and accepting the ups and downs with recovery from burn out.
What has really made a huge difference for me is doing yoga, all the yoga. I have been doing asanas, the physical movements of yoga, since I was in my twenties but its not until now that I have really given the whole concept time and thought. Since September I have been doing asanas every day and I started reading more about the philosophies of yoga and the last month I have been practicing meditation every day with the help from an app called Balance.
In October I felt like I had done everything I could on my own, and to progress I went to Google, and I found a course called YOMI Recover. It is an online course that combines psychotherapy, meditation and yoga asana, theoretical content and physical movement, with a focus on techniques for burn out and pain. It stretches over 10 weeks and is all online, very convenient in these times. So far I am very happy about it but after just two weeks I felt like I needed even more yoga, more information on the philosophy and more thought for mind, and I went to google again. This time I found an online yoga teacher training with My Vinyasa Practice and three weeks into it, it has given me all I needed right now. I still have some difficulties seeing myself teaching and especially filming videos for others to see, but I guess this is part of the yoga teacher training, learning that I have all the tools within me, to do exactly what I want to do, I just need to use them.
So I really enjoy both of these courses. The first course, YOMI Recover, absolutely fits anyone who wants more tools to deal with burn out, stress and pain, no previous yoga knowledge needed. And the yoga teacher training is just so much fun, the focus on inner wellbeing and self study, really makes me feel like I found my place. Working with the asanas, the breath, the meditation and focusing on the eight limbs of yoga, is really grounding me and making me remember that I am enough. I am whole and everything I will ever need is right within me. This particular fact is a mantra I keep telling myself especially when I fell anxiety coming, and I feel like it is helping.
When I give myself time, by being fully immersed in learning, feeling, knowing everything I can about yoga, I recognize something there and it is so much in the practice that talks to me on so many levels. I remember a very young philosophical me reading Sofies World by Jostein Gaarder and a teenage me writing my project in high school about Dalai Lama. Thinking about this and remembering makes me feel a bit calmer and knowing that I am honoring her, the girl I was then, and by doing so I am learning more about the woman I am today and the one I want to be, and it feels like love. Like deep compassion and love for my inner self, and that makes me feel grateful for everything that brought me here. All the good, and all the bad.
Sylvia found these two photos of me at my grand mas house some time back and she loves them. I was 16 in the first one and on the one in the football gear I should be 11 or 12, around the time I read Sofies World and thought about the big questions of life. The girl I was.
If you like me, feel like starting doing yoga, like right now, I cant recommend The Underbelly enough. Jessamyn is straight forward, grounded and makes you feel welcome and appreciated, and that is what a yoga practice should give you. I have also found a very appreciating space with Nourished Natasha. She puts some of her yoga classes for free on Youtube and also gives my Instagram flow wisdom and inspiration. And YOMI has more courses than the one for burn out and pain, there is also one for stress and one for depression. YOMI was started, and is run, by Maria and Frida that are both psychologist and yoga teachers, so I feel in very safe hands with them. And its provided by Yogobe, that most workplaces approves as a wellness grant.
If you have any more questions on my ways of dealing with my burn out recovery or these stressful times, feel free to contact me and I can do my best to try to answer. I hope you will have a good weekend. Stay safe and stay at home!
PS. All recommendations comes from my heart. Ds